When you have young kids, a job to hold down and a house to run, it’s not easy to find the time or energy to really LOVE your man… But the truth is that it’s so important. Not just on Valentine’s Day but every day. Here are 10 Ways to #LOVEYOURMAN when #THEJUGGLEISREAL
If you’re a single mom, this is also for you…
My husband is the son of a single mom. He is amazing.
I thank my mother in law, and my sisters in law, whenever I see them for what they did for me in raising my husband.
One of the very best decisions my mom in law ever made was that, when she found love again after her first marriage broke up, she held on to it. She nurtured her relationship with my step-father-in-law with everything she had. She played a very significant role in making him the man he became over the thirty years of marriage they had together before he died.
My husband saw that. He saw love modelled in his mother’s second marriage. They all had a second chance at making life work as a family. And that, in the largest part, is due to her. To a single mom who took her circumstances with both hands, prayed daily for wisdom, and Made. Life. Work.
I believe that the most important thing you can do for your kids is to love your man. And not just on Valentine’s Day
I mean LOVE. I mean look up to him. Build him up in your children’s eyes and let them see love modelled in your relationship. They will not see it anywhere else. They are more likely to experience the exact opposite in the world, their friends’ homes and lives, everywhere really.
The truth is that love is a choice. It is not the stuff of teenage fantasy. It is a choice to work hard. Daily. To love the man you have chosen to spend your life with as far as it is up to you.
So this Valentine’s Day, here are ten ways to love your man:
#1 Tell him he is awesome on Valentine’s Day and every day
He needs to hear it. He needs you to look into his eyes and tell him that he is good at his job, a great friend and a wonderful husband or partner and mean it. Find three things that you absolutely love about him and tell him… again and again.
#2 Really believe that he is awesome
No-one is perfect. None of us are without a lazy, irritating habit or a loud snore or the tendency to open windows and let him close them. We all have our problems. But to love your man you need to tell him he is awesome and actually believe it too. Look for the good in him and become convinced that the good outweighs the bad.
#3 Don’t judge him
When kids arrive, many mothers put their husbands off childcare instantly with these six words: “that’s not how you do it!”. Let him do it his way. It is probably not perfect – but neither is yours, and wouldn’t you rather have him change a nappy by hook or by crook than have to do them all yourself?
#4 Celebrate who he is
Many of us date and marry with the intention of “saving” or “changing” or “enhancing” our men… don’t. Accept him for who he is – just in case he doesn’t change.
#5 Believe in who he is to become
The thing is, he will change. Your task is to support him and encourage him as he grows… not to point out all the bad things about him so that he will eventually change into the man you would like him to be. That person does not exist. Your man does – smelly socks and all. So just love him and keep loving him as he grows into himself – there is such beauty in lovingly walking with someone through life in this way.
#6 Find his work interesting
Even if you don’t. Find a question to ask – and really listen to the answer. It’s amazing how much more interesting something (anything) becomes the more you learn about it…
#7 Love, or put up with, his friends
They are a part of him. Hopefully you can get on well with their wives and girlfriends. If you can, you’ve hit gold!
#8 Look good for him – on Valentine’s Day at least 😉
My grandmother used to always tell me to put fresh lipstick on before my husband came home. The only problem is that I hardly ever wear lipstick and often work as hard as he does… I am not talking about a 50’s Home Economics Textbook here. I am talking about staying in shape so that you are fit and healthy and he is proud to look at you and know you are his. It’s important to him.
#9 Lean on him
I’m not one of those Supermoms who are out and about with their newborn in week two. Not me. Nope. I could not have scraped myself off the floor without my husband on many days. So this one was easy for me. But it does pay off to lean on him – even if you are a Supermom and have to fake it a little…
#10 You know what number ten is. You do, really
Just find a way to do it for fun with him now. As often as you can possibly scrape together the energy. It’s worth it!